Current mood:	bouncy
Current music:	THE BLACK MAGES - "Dancing Mad"

I've Always Wondered How They Infrare A Camera
So how often does reality live up to fantasy? At least three times, in my experience. Probably more.

It's strange, in a way -- my closest advisors, the ones who I turn to for advice because of their maturity, are so dedicated to my happiness (in their traditional definition thereof) that their counsel on the matter becomes selfish and immature on my behalf. What you feel for someone isn't an excuse for nullifying what you feel for someone else, and, fighting the returning spectre of entitlement, no one's claim to those feelings is any more valid than any others'. There's especially no reason to throw away something you've built because an interesting distraction comes along.

The only reason to be unhappy with things as they are is if you expect them to be different. For me, so long as it is equitable and healthy, I need no more expectations. I do get frustrated with others, that I still expect them to eventually come around to this truth, that they hold themselves down with their fear and strangle the freedom of the enlightened ones around them. It is the rest of the world that expects things to change in my artificial "favor," and all I can think is that it is a set of reasons that people put on themselves to avoid being satisfied. They seem to think that someone can only "truly" love one person at a time. I think, the more people you truly love, the luckier you are.

I wasn't fully aware of how profoundly I've been affected until my birthday dinner. It was a three-digit-before-the-decimal meal, and, rather than feeling embarrassed as I often do at such expenditure, I was pleased. The change was in myself -- I had been reminded of how to enjoy what is right in front of me. As my mother put it, it is as if she takes her clothes off and rolls around in her food, she enjoys it so actively. She is a joy to cook for and eat with, and this carries over to everything else new she does. It is an infectious quality. And so I was happy to have so much spent on a meal, because, for the first time in a while, I could taste it all.

The convention was exhausting and awesome. Despite some logistical issues and an implant malfunction, both costumes came together admirably. I bought hard copies for two soundtracks I'd been looking for (it's delayed legality, but legality all the same). Joy was brought to the faces of many people who saw an affectionate pair of geeks in matching costumes, as was a fair amount of jealousy (and, in the case of the catgirl costumes, very confused arousal). As expected, Fullmetal Alchemist was the unofficial star of the show, highlighting most of the dealers' tables and cosplay groups. Live action cinema was mocked cruelly, as was the hentai.

Dinner was another new experience for my lovely companion, and one that I feel must be spread through the world -- UNAGI. I shall let better men than I convince you.

The Ex did make a cursory appearance, although barely spoke a word to me. Not surprised if she's still feeling awkward around me -- wouldn't be the first time she said one thing and felt another. Still, all the work's done on this end, if and when something changes. Speaking of using "if and when" politely.

The family inflicted a cell phone on me for my birthday. If you know how to get in touch with me already, ask me for the number. And don't be freaked out if it's in Spanish.